Stardust / Remastered
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John Fraim
The ARK-Han novel Incel is exploding in popularity now. I’ve downloaded it on Kindle but haven’t read it yet. I’ve been distracted by the various contexts of Incels (involuntary celebate) today. One distraction from reading the novel is exploring the context and roots of Incel culture.
To many, this was defined in the 2014 manifesto My Twisted World (MTW) by Elliot Rodger. He wrote it while a student in Santa Barbara before going on a killing spree in May 2014. (See a PDF of his manifesto at bottom link on this page). At the very beginning of MTW he writes:
“Humanity… All of my suffering on this world has been at the hands of humanity, particularly women. It has made me realize just how brutal and twisted humanity is as a species. All I ever wanted was to fit in and live a happy life amongst humanity, but I was cast out and rejected, forced to endure an existence of loneliness and insignificance, all because the females of the human species were incapable of seeing the value in me.”
Yet, men do not escape his hatred:
“Not only did I have to waste my entire youth suffering in loneliness and unfulfilled desire, but I had to live with the knowledge that other boys my age were able to have all of the experiences I craved for. It is absolutely unfair and unjust. In addition, I had to suffer the shame of other boys respecting me less because I didn’t get any girls. Everyone knew I was a virgin. Everyone knew how undesirable I was to girls, and I hated everyone just for knowing it. I want people to think that girls adore me. I want to feel worthy. There is no pride in living as a lonely, unwanted outcast. I wouldn’t even call it living.”
The manifesto is so different from other manifestos written by angry people. Elliot writes at the beginning of his manifesto he grew up as a happy child. As he writes at the beginning of his manifesto, “I started out as a happy and blissful child, living my life to the fullest in a world I thought was good and pure … “
The family moved from England to California when Elliot was four. The 140-page manifesto is how things went from being a happy kid to a kid who wanted to kill.
Elliot in England (1995)
Many have spoken up about this sub-group in culture today called Incels, or young men (perhaps men of all ages?) who have not been able to have sex with women. Do they stay incels or do they evolve into other sexual preferences?
Yet the words “involuntary celibacy” does not state a medical or psychological condition. From Wikipedia:
“Involuntary celibacy” is not a medical or psychological condition. Some people who identify as incel have physical disabilities or psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety, autism and body dysmorphic disorder. A 2022 study found that self-identified incels reported higher rates of depression, anxiety, and formal mental diagnoses than the general population: 95% reported depression and 93% reported anxiety. 38% had clinical diagnoses.
“Some posters to incel forums attribute their inability to find a partner to physical or mental ailments, while some others attribute it to extreme introversion. Many of those identifying as incels engage in self-diagnosis of mental health issues. Members of incel communities often discourage posters who post about mental illness from seeing therapists or otherwise seeking treatment. Some members of incel communities with severe depression are also suicidal. Some members encourage suicidal members to kill themselves, sometimes recommending that they commit acts of mass violence before doing so.”
One can see that the group of Incels might be much larger and encompass many more in it. Is it confined to a dark web cult or is it a serios trend in young (all aged?) men today? There are other questions that need answering like the percentage of Incels related to mass shootings? Is there a group of women similar to Incels? Do Incels evolve into other preferences? Just a few of the questions I came up with. You might have more.
Elliot in Santa Barbara (2014)
Today, I read over the manifesto My Twisted Life. It’s not a final manifesto spewing hate continually like others. Rather, it is one that starts with a happy childhood growing up in London, England. The happy years of one’s life
Yet, the story gets darker and darker from these early years as Elliot has trouble dating. I’ve seen pictures of him. He is not an unattractive looking kid. But Roger’s story is a complicated one and has received serious study. And it should. With his manifesto, we are given perhaps the best inside look of the psychology of a young person that represents the feelings of many young men today who call themselves Incels. Or, involuntary celibate.
“This is the story of how I, Elliot Rodger, came to be. This is the story of my entire life. It is a dark story of sadness, anger, and hatred. It is a story of a war against cruel injustice. In this magnificent story, I will disclose every single detail about my life, every single significant experience that I have pulled from my superior memory, as well as how those experiences have shaped my views of the world. This tragedy did not have to happen. I didn’t want things to turn out this way, but humanity forced my hand, and this story will explain why. My life didn’t start out dark and twisted. I started out as a happy and blissful child, living my life to the fullest in a world I thought was good and pure … “
The manifesto is difficult to read but one can see the use of it in evaluating a type of person today. I think the most interesting part of it is at the end where Elliot approaches topics of the power that celibacy gives one at the end of the manuscript:
“In fully realizing these truths about the world, I have created the ultimate and perfect ideology of how a fair and pure world would work. In an ideal world, sexuality would not exist. It must be outlawed. In a world without sex, humanity will be pure and civilized. Men will grow up healthily, without having to worry about such a barbaric act. All men will grow up fair and equal, because no man will be able to experience the pleasures of sex while others are denied it. The human race will evolve to an entirely new level of civilization, completely devoid of all the impurity and degeneracy that exists today.”
As he says, “In an ideal world, sexuality would not exist. It must be outlawed. In a world without sex, humanity will be pure and civilized.” In effect, it seems that he might be going towards what one might call a “voluntary” celibacy at the very end of his life and manifesto.
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Voluntary celibacy finds a large religious following. Celibacy is the state of voluntarily being unmarried, sexually abstinent or both. It is often in association with the role of a religious official or devotee. In its narrow sense, the term celibacy is applied only to those for whom the unmarried state is the result of a sacred vow, act of renunciation or religious conviction. In a wider sense, it is commonly understood to only mean abstinence from sexual activity.
It’s also a major part of the Buddhist religion. Buddhism categorizes sexuality, in particular sexual arousal and pleasure, as a type of kama, or earthly pleasure, that must be abandoned to achieve enlightenment. Many Buddhists avoid drawing a distinction between monastic sexual abstinence and other forms of religious self-discipline, while some traditions actively incorporate sexual concepts or acts in a yogic or ritualistic context.
The last words of his manifesto are:
Why do things have to be this way? I’m sure that is the question everyone will be asking after the Day of Retribution is over. They will all be asking why. Indeed, why? That is the question I’ve had for everyone throughout all my years of suffering. Why was I condemned to live a life of misery and worthlessness while other men were able to experience the pleasures of sex and love with women? Why do things have to be this way? I ask all of you.
All I ever wanted was to love women, and in turn to be loved by them back. Their behavior towards me has only earned my hatred, and rightfully so! I am the true victim in all of this. I am the good guy. Humanity struck at me first by condemning me to experience so much suffering. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this. I didn’t start this war… I wasn’t the one who struck first… But I will finish it by striking back. I will punish everyone. And it will be beautiful. Finally, at long last, I can show the world my true worth.
So interesting that his hatred does not involve a bitter relationship with a woman. He writes from inexperience really. And he sees all “women” in one woman he doesn’t know (like those he murdered in front of the sorority house at UCSB in 2014.)
Finally, as he says in his manifesto, I can show the world my true worth.
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The two photos above tell the story of an incredible trip from a happy young boy to a young man full of rage almost twenty years later. The story of incels does not end with Elliot. In a sense, he is the first to provide a description of the creation of this subculture. One has to read the short PDF below of “My Twisted World” to understand more about Elliot Rodger in his own words.
I wonder whether incels have a counterpart in women? There are many things to wonder about in all of this.
Is it another fad or cult in culture? A piece of history that comes and goes like a tissue in the wind.
Or, is it a trend? A new attitude/perspective on the world by young men growing up today? Perhaps not the extremes of the Elliott Rodgers Manifesto but certainly possessing a number of similarities to it.
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Wall Street Journal Video on Elliott Rodger
Elliot Rodger was born with a high degree of intelligence, sensitivity, and neurosis. From a very early age, he considered himself above others, and entitled to more in life. While most families experience upheavals at one time or another, and children respond differently, according to their natures, this is one family that was doomed from the start. Elliot absorbed the materialistic culture of Hollywood. He internalized messages of status and superficial beauty, and came to believe that he was entitled to all of these. However, directly opposed to these beliefs was his social anxiety, which made it virtually impossible for him to approach anyone. He was unable to get through school without help from parents and teachers, because of this. He declined to communicate any of his thoughts or feelings. His parents and others saw him as simply a good-looking but shy boy, completely unaware of his growing anger and resentment toward people who had what he coveted.
Rodger made the headlines at age 22, when he opened fire on pedestrians in Isla Vista, California, led the police on a brief chase, and then killed himself. His parents were horrified to finally get the full story of their son online, in the form of a 107-page “manifesto.” By then it was far too late.
Rodger’s twisted egotism led him to label himself a “supreme gentleman,” and numerous alienated, angry, resentful young men in this country and abroad identify strongly with his perspective. The Southern Poverty Law Center and the FBI have identified the so-called Incel (involuntarily celibate) philosophy as a form of domestic terrorism.
I hope that those who care about young people, their inner lives, and the values they absorb, will pay close attention to this story and be aware of its warning.